Last month, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen presented her plans for 2026 to the European Parliament. She promised the continent would become the “master of its own destiny”, build its own armies, control key technologies and lead the green transformation without depending on the US or China.

The scene was pure Comical Ali, Saddam Hussein’s information minister, who insisted there were no American tanks in Baghdad even as they rolled past. But where American tanks exposed Comical Ali’s lies, Von der Leyen is surrounded by mounting crises that make a mockery of her grand promises.

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