Being a practical scheme whereby New Zealand's retirees may personally contribute to the fiscal sustainability they currently enjoy

Superannuation reform is politically impossible, so let us not bother. Instead, let us fix the problem the way we have been fixing it anyway, just more honestly.

The pension costs more every year because New Zealanders keep getting older. The only reason things aren’t even worse is that younger people keep arriving from overseas and paying taxes. Treasury confirms this. Migrants more than pull their weight. The system works. We just need more of them, and faster. But Treasury’s report was sceptical that New Zealand could attract enough migrants to make things balance.

I propose Superannuation Sponsorship Pathways.

Every retiree collecting the pension would be required to personally recruit one working-age migrant. Think of it as adopting a taxpayer.

Start in Europe. Young Europeans have it worse than young New Zealanders. In Italy, every working-age person already helps cover almost 40% of a retiree. In Germany it is almost as bad. In New Zealand, each worker covers only about a quarter of a retiree. That is a bargain.

Immigration New Zealand should put up billboards across southern Europe. Tired of having too much of your pay taken by the elderly? Move to New Zealand. You’ll pay less. Young Italians are not stupid. They know how much of their pay disappears before they see it. Put the offer on a bus and let them do the maths.

Sponsored migrants must keep working and paying taxes. Each would get a yearly thank-you letter from their retiree explaining how the money was spent. A hip replacement. A power bill. Three weeks holidays in Tuscany the migrants just left. Top earners may receive a framed photo of their retiree enjoying retirement. Migrants are encouraged, but not yet required, to write back.

And if the migrant stopped earning enough, their sponsor would have to help find them a new job, find a replacement or take a pension cut. A 90-day trial period will apply. Appeals may be lodged but will not be read.

Retirees who recruit more than one migrant would earn bonuses: a pension top-up, early eligibility, or access to Gold Card Plus. That means priority seating on public transport, free scone upgrades, a dedicated supermarket checkout lane, and one airport lounge visit per sponsored migrant per year.

None of this would be necessary if we simply raised the pension age. But turkeys do not vote for an earlier Christmas.